将您的焦虑想法像互联网弹出广告一样对待

Source: Unsplash

Do you remember internet pop-up ads?

In the days before pop-up blockers, you would be surfing the internet, minding your own business, when a pesky advertisement would suddenly appear on your screen.

Most of the time, the pop-up is spam and you don't really want to pay attention to it. So you have to find that tiny little “X” hidden in the top right-hand corner. Once you find it and get it to go away (sometimes it takes a few tries), you can get back to what you were doing before it popped up.

We can learn a lot from pop-up ads when it comes to our thoughts.

Stop Fighting Your Thoughts

Most people try to change their thoughts. They get advice to “just think positively” or “make your thoughts more realistic.”

But thoughts can be like quicksand. The more you try to fight them, ignore them, or suppress them, the more they suck you in.

Before I found this skill, I spent a lot of time trying to fight my thoughts. Whenever I thought I was “stupid” or “a failure,” I would spend tons of time analyzing the thought. I would pore over reasons why I wasn't stupid or a failure, trying to convince myself. It was exhausting. I ended up just wasting my energy.

I found it was much easier to stop playing tug-of-war with my thoughts and drop the rope. And I found this strategy worked a lot better to free up my mental space.

What Is Cognitive Defusion?

Originally developed by
Dr. Aaron Beck
(then called cognitive distancing) and refined by
Dr. Steven Hayes
,
cognitive defusion
is all about accepting thoughts for what they are: just thoughts.

Many of us with anxiety are too attached to our thoughts. We believe that just because we have a thought, it's true. But did your loved one get in a car crash that time you thought they might? Do you automatically become a failure just because you think it? Most likely not.

Our anxiety tricks us into thinking that these thoughts are real. In reality, they're just thoughts. Just spurts of electricity fired by our neurons. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our thoughts, assuming they represent reality. But that doesn't serve us well.

Science supports this idea. Cognitive defusion can
reduce general distress, decrease self-criticism, and increase self-compassion
. Cognitive defusion allows us to live our lives, despite our thoughts.

So how do we put the skill into practice?

Specific Strategies to Practice Cognitive Defusion

Practicing cognitive defusion is definitely not as easy as it sounds, but it offers a useful strategy for anyone who finds themselves constantly battling their thoughts.

You can practice cognitive defusion by doing anything that puts space between you and the thought. There are so many different ways to do this. Here are a few, but this is definitely not a comprehensive list. You can create your own ways to distance yourself from your thoughts as well.

Just noticing

Use the word “noticing” when talking about your thoughts. A simple formula is, “I'm noticing (the thought).” This subtle linguistic difference can have an impact. There is a big difference between saying “I'm a failure” and saying “I'm having the thought that I'm a failure.”

That space can give you some big relief from the constant barrage of negative thoughts.

You can also use this strategy for feelings or urges. Saying, “I'm noticing I'm feeling sad right now” can give you the little bit of distance you need.

How old is this thought?

Most of us have had the same thought patterns for years and years. It is so hard to change our thoughts . Because if it was easy, you would have done it already.

A thought may be 1 or 5 or 20 years old—that doesn't mean you need to keep believing it.

When you're convinced a thought is true, stop and ask yourself, “How old is this thought?” Ask yourself if you need to continue to "buy into" this thought or pattern of thoughts because you always have.

The answer is no! Just because you've always done it this way doesn't mean it's the best way. And it's important to know that you can have these thoughts and continue to engage in meaningful behaviors, despite how old the thought is.

Anxiety Essential Reads

本泽斯的麻烦

别担心要开心.

像弹出广告一样对待您的想法

这是我最喜欢的认知消沉策略.核心是，该技能可以教您将自己的想法视为真实想法.有时会产生不便的电涌.

出现想法时，将其可视化为弹出广告.确认思想—不要压抑它，而要注意它并承认它存在.找到X，然后将注意力重新集中在想法出现之前所做的事情上.您甚至可以在脑海中想象一个大的红色X，然后单击“单击".按钮以最小化思想.

您甚至可以标记它.您可以说，“哦，我的焦虑再次向我发送垃圾邮件."或者，“我注意到这则广告试图以我失败的想法向我推销.但我不必购买.

不要购买弹出广告向您销售的商品—不要将思想视为真理.就像您遇到垃圾广告一样，继续您的生活.

如果您购买垃圾邮件，则会使病毒传播.但是，如果您接受您的计算机有时会被发送垃圾邮件，则弹出的病毒是个小麻烦，但它并不能控制您的生活.如果您能认可思想并与思想保持距离，则可以过上自己的生活.

您可以成为自己的防病毒软件.

摘要

认知分散是一种有效的策略，即使您遇到沮丧，令人沮丧，垃圾邮件的想法，也可以帮助您度过生活.请记住将您的想法视为真实，并将其标记为“仅想法".

通过不给思想赋予额外的含义，您可以放开自己一直在告诉自己的故事.您不够好，不够聪明或不够可爱的所有想法都只是故事.只是因为您一直相信这些想法并不意味着您现在就需要购买它们.如果您陷入垃圾邮件中，就无法过上自己的生活.

您不是您的想法，您可能在思想上花费了过多的精力.您尝试与他们进行斗争的次数越多，他们就越会继续回来.因为那就是垃圾邮件的作用—您与弹出广告互动的次数越多，尝试吸引您的机会就越大.

停止战斗.并且不要让垃圾邮件阻止您.

按X.

链接的图片:SMEEitz/Shutterstock

如果您喜欢这篇文章并希望收到类似的内容，请订阅
www.drmarinaharris.com
.